so about this time I had to go out of town for 5 days.  5 days that truly have changed my life for the better.  I can't explain how healing that 5 days in MN were for me and bean.  To be around people who, while don't have the same condition as me, have faced the same sort of things and had to readjust life was so amazing.   My daughter got to talk to scientist at medtronic and meet people from around the world.  Truly my heart is over full at this point I just can't explain it.   I had been holding on to the past me. The me before brain surgeries and the heart monitor being installed. The me before being told i needed a full hysterectomy and them finding cancer cells in there.   I was angry at myself and beyond frustrated that my run wasn't what it use to be.    This weekend  helped me realize that I'm  new me.  And also important that the old me was good enough.  A message to myself that I had struggled hard with.  But the old me was like the caterpillar and now Im learning to come out of my cacoon and spread my wings and fly.   My beautiful amazing wings.    The weekend "highlight" was suppose to be the run and while that was amazing for sure it wasn't the highlight for me.  The highlight was meeting face to face with my new family.  It was seeing my daughter relax and laugh again and reconnect with her.  It was laughing as we ran around the mall of America shopping for friends.   Truly is was a magical experience that helped create a sense of peace in my soul and heart.