What I have realized is that lately is that my mood is affected greatly by the energy that is in my house.  My ex has been staying over the last few nights as I have been dealing with the lumbar puncture and its complications.  This is actually been causing me to feel very frustated and stressed out.  As a result I think that part of the pain I'm feeling in my head is a tension migraine and aggrevation of my occiptial nerves.  =(    I am also being more short tempered and just cranky all around. I do NOT like this in myself and am working on finding my way back to my calm.   I think that I will stop today at Walmart or Home Depot (probably walmart as I have a return there to do LOL) and pick up the paint brushes I need.  I will also see about a rubber float to do the grout on the tile work I did in the bathroom.    
I'm also hoping that the PT will clear me to do more today, though I'm seriously doubting it will happen.    But maybe if she will clear me to even walk distances outside I can get the dog the pinch collar so she will walk nicely on a leash and I can take her out for daily walks to burn off some of her energy.    The boy child has also asked if he can join track.   That would be in addition to pep band, regular band, and going to take a college course.  I am pretty sure at this point I need to clone myself.

progress is being made on the rug for Bean's room =)  Omg this is taking way more yarn and time then I imagined to be honest.   

A darn near perfect match on paint for the bathroom cabinet. Now if only I could remember to buy a paint brush for it and the polyurthene... and time. I need more time. 

 So I have a lumbar puncture the other day. Followed by an emergency blood patch.. I'm now on bedrest.  This is my view.  The ceiling fan is so dirty, its driving me nutss to stare at.  We clearly still have the crazy painting going on but now I am wondering how did the handprint get there?   I am so over the construction and just want it done!!! 

I used my groupon at the habitat restore.  That place can be a gold mine IF you know what you need and its sort of like a home improvement TJ Maxx LOL  so I picked up the paint for the bathroom cabinet and the tiles to fix in front of the main door.  Then I grabbed a floor mat and a light that I will have hung  over my sink.   I spent 14 cents.  YUP because of the coupon for groupon it was free.  So what would have been $20.14 ended up being 14cents. I'm good with that LOL

lots of progress has been happening.  Lots of it is stuff that you can't really see as its plumbing and electrical.  But that stuff is REALLY majorly important.  I have no unpacked 99% of the boxes.   Which wasn't easy.  

My other dog is now having seperation anxiety and that is creating a boatload of damage and frustration.    I am not ready to get another dog at this point but maybe she does need the company when we are gone.  Looking for more ideas there.

I need to take some time to paint more.  UGH  I am getting really sick of painting to be honest. But it needs to happen.  

ugh so the other night someone tried to break into my house =(  since then my front door has been jacked up.   This is an even bigger problem because now my other dog is getting out and roaming the neighborhood.  This morning she even tried to get into the neighbor's car.  YIKES

so sometimes its in the darkness that we see how much progress we've really made in an area of our lives. Its easy to be all positive and sure when things are going well.  However,  when the shit hits the fan is where we see if the foundation we thought we had is really there.   I knew I had made progress in many ways. I handled things last week with some tears, minimal cussing but overall with pride in things. I had some cries for help but overall I handled things.    I thought to myself hmmm you're on the right track. As much as you've been through you are a freaking rockstar!   You handled everything that was thrown your way. You took the deep breathes when needed. There was only, I think, when I screamed "I DON"T KNOW... JUST DO SOMETHING ALREADY!!"  at someone who probably didn't deserve such harshness at the time.     But then I realize too that I'm human and you don't just wake and think ok today I am Zen and shit and I will never make a mistake or revert to old ways.  What you do realize, hopefully, is that you've made progress in this journey, you apologize for your mistake and you make amends for it.

What I also realized today is that in some areas I still have LOTS of work to do.  I thought I had this body image thing way way under control.   While I'm working on dropping weight, for a variety of reasons,  I love myself and the picture's I've been in in the last few months. I see the fierce, strong, amazing woman who has not just survived but has often times thrived in the face of adversity.   However,  that "face slap" of the work I still need to do hit me this morning.  My law school's moot court is doing a fundraiser.   Big deal right?  well it is, as a former member of moot court I want to support it. I also like wearing my school shirts and really don't feel comfy in the one i have.... with the weight gain from all the meds its just not as loose as I'd like, especially if I'm wearing layers. So ok I go to order and without even thinking I click on a 5XL. Then I have a waive of panic of "will it even fit?" so I check on sizing.  Turns out I only really need an XL, maybe a 2XL to be sure for layers.      But that isn't even close to the size I was worried about being too small.  

  More work grasshopper!


that said last night I finished up 2 of the 4 panels on Bean's curtains - at least the sewing part. And fixed the broken chair. All the dishes (except dinner dishes) were done.  The boy child is eating a metric ton of food.    But I'm so very glad I did meal prep on Sunday. Its taking lots of stress out of this week. I'm overall feeling better energy wise.. not so much of a roller coaster.

this is the shower curtain Bean chose the other day.   The old school preppy in me LOVES it. 

bean's closet =) 

the wall is officially painted

the molding is painted and up on top. Now to finish the bottom part

kitchen towels I revitalized with the nesting doll fabric.